Writing Friday: College Essay - Body, Conclusion, and Model Essays

On this Writing Friday, we worked on completing our rough draft of our college essays. Now, remember that your college essay should reflect:

• Your strengths
• Your goals
• Your personal style

Since these things are different for everyone, everybody's essay may look a bit different. I can give you some guidance and advice, and so can tons of universities like this one and this one and this one. However, there is no set structure or style that your essay must be written in. 

Your essay should reflect you in all ways. 

In order to start writing our body and conclusion, I wanted to make sure we all had a chance to see what a successful college essay might look like, so I set out to find some good ones.

Well, I found some great ones.

Back in 2001, NPR's "Morning Edition" asked students to send in their successful college essays. The packet below contains 4 essays they thought were the best of them. Notice how they are all somewhat different in style, structure, and tone.

Amber Espinoza's essay is emotional, heartfelt, and a testament to the struggles she has overcome in her life. Her essay has a more formal style - she gives details and examples and explains how they have changed her or her perspective - but also uses things like dialogue and some conversational parts to make it sound more natural.

Leo Stoscheck is much more creative and poetic in his form. His paragraphs are lengthy, his vocabulary is sensory and detailed, his sentences are varied and demonstrate his talent at creating a flow in his writing. He focuses on location and the significance of it. He demonstrates how observant and appreciative he is of the world around him and crafts extended metaphors. 

Clayton Kennedy blends creativity and introspection. He reflects back on a time in his life when he seemed at his lowest. He directly confronts something most would find difficult to even look at in ourselves. He makes allusions to authors and artists to demonstrate his point. 

Finally, Leah Knobler compares herself to her brother, not because she feels lesser than him. She tells it in pure story format of the realization that she could be the things her brother is not. She refuses to live in his shadow and in the same breath thanks him for the shade he casts over her. Her vocabulary is not as sophisticated as Leo or Clayton, but it still gets the job done. 

As you can see, the RIGHT style for your essay is the one that feels NATURAL to you. 

As for what you should write about, consider what our classes identified in Leah's essay together:

Ultimately, you could read through hundreds of example essays and advice columns. They won't tell you the magic formula to write your college essay. But if you really want some help, here are a few small pieces of advice to follow:

• Paint us a picture when necessary. Show, don't tell. Give details, dialogue, etc. Make scenes come alive if it feels like your writing is just kind of dragging along.
• Demonstrate that you are a complex individual, not just a stereotype. The admissions board will have probably already seen your GPA, your transcript, your recommendations, and your extracurriculars. They may already think they know who you are. Maybe you have a dream or a passion you've never told anyone about. Let them know that!
• Show maturity, adaptability, and introspection. Show them that you don't just let your problems stand in your way; explain how you actively work to solve problems. Ghandi once said "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Show the admissions board that you don't just wait for the problem come to you...you go to the problem and change it yourself.
• Maintain the likability factor. Confidence is good. Arrogance is not. Show that you will always give YOUR 100%. 

Finally, just like before, sometimes the best thing to do to start is to JUST START. Start writing! Let yourself wander on the page. Go over 2 pages if you want. Write it in prose or in essay form or in a poem. We can work with that. 

I know it can be scary because ultimately, you are putting something on paper that you think is beautiful and special about you (and yes, there is something beautiful and special in ALL OF YOU) and it can be terrifying to think that someone else might not find that part of you beautiful and special too. This is a risk worth taking though, because those who read it will be able to tell it's a risk. And they (and me) will appreciate you so much for it. 

Your assignment this weekend is to work on the rest of your essay. Just like before, feel free to email me what you write. If you have shared it with me on Google Drive, just send me an email notifying me that you have updated the document and want feedback. I will work as quickly as I can to give that meaningful feedback to you.

Now, have a great weekend!